Friday, May 3, 2013

God is a god of redemption

God is a God of REDEMPTION! He uses all things for His good and His glory! I received this private facebook message from "Melissa" and would like to share this wonderful testimony with all of you...

April 22, 2013
From: Melissa

"Just wanted to let you know that several months ago I was dealing with suicidal depression. My words may not be eloquent and I pray they are not inappropriate... But I thought of you many times. As I struggled to fight a voice I knew wasn't mine and even made a tea of oleander bushes... I thought of how you shared your pain and I wondered if my husband would suffer the same. My children, I was convinced would be better off without me! Then you would share something small and I would realize that I'm considering putting my family thru what you went thru. I knew my oldest son would feel guilt even though he's smart enough to reason thru it. Thought about how I barely know you yet my heart grieves for you. Anyway, I've had many prayer sessions with LifeBridge and I'm doing very well. For the first time ever in my life, suicide is a distant ridiculous option. I'm sorry for your pain, but I'm so grateful for your strength to share your struggle. For those of us who struggled with those awful mind bending thoughts... You offer a perspective that encourages us to come out of that selfish dark place. May Gods peace and blessing fall on you like a flash flood in the desert! With all my heart." Melissa


God said, "Never will I leave you, Never will I forsake you." So I say with confidence that the Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid!

I am overwhelmed and touched by the love and prayers of so many... The tears have subsided and I am now riding a blissful wave of peace. Thank you for your prayers that loosed the heavenlies on my behalf, and for wrapping me in God's peace that my finite mind can not even begin to understand, because His ways are so far above my ways... Wow! He holds the pleiades in His hand... How great is that?!!

The nature of God is the answer to every challenge. God is MY strong tower, MY impenetrable shield!!!

Oh my goodness

Oh my goodness! Please pray peace over me. I was cleaning out the garage, especially my husband's work table and going through everything and tossing things that looked like I didn't need them. And then... I came across some papers, downloaded directions on how to make a noose, along with the left over nylon rope that Rob used to make his noose and hang himself.

I immediately shredded the directions on how to make a noose and threw them along with the left over rope away. I sighed. I thought, "Wow, I'm doing ok with this!" I did a few more things in the garage and then went inside to pee. I totally lost it. Hyperventilating convulsing tears. I recognized the rope, because I had to cut him down from his noose he tied to our balcony on the side of the house. I remember I couldn't find scissors to cut the rope. I remember screaming, "You will live and not die!" over and over and over, until I was finally able to cut him down. I can't breath too well right now. Lord give me your peace that passes all my own understanding, as only you can do.

I covet your love and prayers...


There is not a day that goes by, that I don't think about my late husband and how he touched my life, both the great times and the struggles... There were both... I miss him... I am also amazed at the grieving that continues to come in waves... There are still some days that I am not able to function enough to get out of bed, and yet there are other days when there is a beginning sense of normalcy in my life.

By the way, NEVER ask a widow or someone grieving "How are you?" (this is going in my book "Indescribable" under the what NOT to do section)... If you really want to know offer "You've been on my heart and I'm praying for you."

Thank you for your love and prayers during my season of grief, tears and healing...

I thank God for His and your grace towards me!