Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Merry Christmas!

Today was a hard day for me emotionally. I was invited to a wonderful FANCY Christmas eve dinner party... The food and company was special. Yet, I experienced overwhelming heartache missing my husband, Rob being by my side enjoying the festivities of Christmas. Tears that could not be held back, flowed forth.

Ironically, I just finished telling a dear friend of mine yesterday, to give herself permission to have a hard day... My friend's husband had a stroke a year ago, turning her life and their ministry upside down. A week and a half ago three children in their orphanage were kidnapped for sex trafficking. Last week she was bitten by a poisoness snake while cutting basil in her garden. She was temporarily paralyzed and nearly died. Today her husband contracted malaria. But God! His fingerprints were manifest everywhere in the midst of her trials. God did not forsake her!

Christmas in third world countries brings new opportunities to praise and thank God for many precious things in life... Some friends had to flee South Sudan with barely their lives and nothing else because of insurrection and warfare! A coo had broken out to overthrow the government. In fact someone has had to find refuge from South Sudan here in Uganda, at the host home where I am staying!

Pray that these children would be brought back safely and unharmed. Pray for Peace in South Sudan. Pray for safe haven for all those who need it. Pray for unspeakable joy to break out... Pray for hope to shine it's light in people's lives this Christmas and New Year.

I certainly have gained a new perspective to having a "Merry Christmas" this year. I am joyful that I have a safe place to stay. I am blessed that I have loving friends around me and praying for me, even though I am far away from home. God has not forsaken me! These are reasons for me this year, to celebrate Christ Jesus' birth... MERRY Christmas! Merry CHRISTMAS!! MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Adjuring a suicidal friend...

I could tell you something trite like, "suicide is not the answer Jesus Christ is", but I won't! As a survivor of suicide, I can tell you this: my husband chose suicide to end his pain and in so doing he will never know the grief, the pain, the loss, the heartache, that he left behind as part of his legacy to those who loved him. I adjure you, as one who is still walking through the pain of the suicidal death of my husband, suicide is not the answer. Suicide leaves in its wake, indescribable grief beyond comprehension, more tears then you could ever know, pain in your heart that feels like nothing can ever heal it, so many unanswered questions, feelings of rejection, unrequited love and unsaid goodbyes. My question to you is this, do you really want to leave this behind as your legacy and inheritance for those who love you? With suicide there are no do overs. It is final!