Friday, August 14, 2015


"Silly me, crying at a movie along with Clive Owen in "The Boys are Back". He's crying because he lost his wife to cancer; I'm crying because I lost my husband to suicide. The waves of heart ache, the streams of tears. Life seems so surreal. I remember well meaning, good hearted people constantly questioning. Are you okay? What is better for you?
How can I help you? You will call me if you need anything, won't you? Is this the best for you?

How does one begin to answer any of those questions? I have to stop and ask myself that question, How am I? I ponder. Then I realize I'm not doing so hot right now. Then I burst into tears. I want to trade in my reality, because I still long for the man who was once my husband, whom I loved. Since his suicide, Rob has never appeared to me, as an apparition. Not like in the movies: A ghost like character appears to the living loved one left behind, giving them directives or hope. I have never received this from my dead husband... I miss him. Rob, I miss you..." excerpt from "Indescribable" by Kimberly Wallace